abby vanduker, 20, oklahoma

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invisible children
charity: water
liberty in north korea

• i’m uncertain if i’m stressing more about basketball tickets or final exams
• my body has apparently figured out it’s winter time and, in turn, i want to eat everything.
• …fire department family dinner tonight
• le langue français ferait ma tête explose si je continue mes études pour pas plus de temps.
• after wednesday, i will have officially survived another semester
• hoping i really do enjoy poli sci classes next semester, if not it’s back to the drawing board
• …is there a major and career field for listening to music, speaking french, watching basketball, running, and drinking coffee? 
• i have severe wanderlust every day these days.
• chris’ grandfather told me happy birthday, and it’s made me so…warm. blessed.
• so many people i love will be here within a month, and thinking about that makes me want to bounce off all of the walls
• i am trying to remember to not let sickness own me, but to own it
• i think i’m going to go cook waffles
• everything and nothing.

woke up early, drank a cup of coffee and went back to bed for another couple of hours. 

met up with the lovely aubrey at sunflower market later, wandered around for what had to be at least an hour studying everything and eating all the samples. we had lunch at rePUBlic - i’d never been, but i’m now hooked - and i fell in love with wyders pear cider. i could drink it all day long.
afterwards we went over to whole foods to browse, eat more local samples, and pick up an allegro latte.
i absolutely love allergo coffee in colorado, and am so happy that we now have somewhere in oklahoma that brews it! they absolutely put starbucks - and even caribou coffee - to shame.
i then went to dinner with sarah and my brilliant two-year-old niece. i can’t believe how grown up she is already, and how she understands that hot sauce belongs on everything (even her pancakes).

and i’ve been listening to blood bank by bon iver almost constantly; it soothes my soul this time of year. 

it was really such a wonderful, simple day off…filled with lots of food. and oliver is doing much better, he’s still a bit goofy and not sure how to walk, but should be perfectly fine soon :)

my normal diet has been absolutely smothered this-weekend.

friday:

• lunch: taco bueno, two starbucks caramel brûlée lattes
• dinner: pizza, chocolate, and pumpkin spice cake
• no gym time

saturday:

• breakfast: starbucks skinny soy vanilla latte
• lunch: charleston’s loaded fries, caesar, smashed potatoes and steamed veggies w/vanilla cake
• dinner: el guapo’s veggie wet burrito
• no gym time

sunday:

• breakfast: topéca latte
• lunch: some hole-in-the-wall tex-mex’s spinach enchiladas
• dinner: baked ziti and bread
• no gym time

so much good food and such a perfect weekend, but i can’t wait to get back to the regular tomorrow.

zero two forty eight, and i just arrived home with a much clearer head than i left with.

it’s an insignificant factor to me nowadays, but really, i’m appreciative that i’ve learned to be okay with slipping out from mourning under the covers of my uncomfortable bed, tug a brush through my forever messy hair, toss on clothing, and speed down country roads breathing down nicotine to slow my nervous shakes for coffee with a wonderful man, past midnight and at a moment’s notice. well, my coffee and his omelette, to be precise.

but i am just so tired, despite the pot of coffee i emptied alone.
losing the one you love must be the most exhausting nonphysical thing in existence.

Hanging (Taken with Instagram at All About Cha Stylish Tea and Coffee)

jamiepham / by: jamiepham

and I can’t even grasp the year that has passed me by. This may take awhile:

• I spent Christmas in the OKC airport overnight.
• Flew overseas for the first time in my life.
• Had English coffee, paid for by a typical old Englishman.
• Ordered a drink at the original Hard Rock Cafe.
• Saw London.
• Involuntarily developed a British accent for a couple of days.
• Bought my now favorite boots in London.
• Shopped London’s Oxford Street.

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Reblogging because this is just so, so lovely.

 ashleeschultz:

12:40, saturday afternoon. good morning.

i’m three cups of coffee in. haven’t touched the blinds to open them yet, it’s rainy outside, anyway. i have been awake since 10:30 with no obligations until 3:45 this afternoon. tonight i am going to carbon tiger’s EP release show at subt. my boyfriend is opening. his music is good, the kind of music an old saves the day fan would like. it’s easy-listening, the kind of music you’d put on when you were getting ready, driving, or any other time, really. i’m excited. it’s going to be one of those shows where people go for the music instead of each other. i spent too much time in that scene. but moving on…

i have an interview for a position as a public relations coordinator at an orchestra next week. i had no idea this is what a degree in music business would get me. i was a journalism student for two years, and it satisfied my taste for proper grammar, for smooth transitions, and soothed my panic at the slightest of discord. i got a text the other day. it said “spellcheck told me to use a semicolon today and i thought of you.” that’s what journalism did to me.

but music’s where my heart is, so i switched (taking with me the writing tools given to me by tired professors) and gave it a shot. i’m planning my first tattoo, something i’d never dream about having on my body if i were planning on interviewing grimy politicians for the rest of my life.

maybe music’s why i can’t talk about anything else, really. at least nothing i don’t have experience with. i can’t talk about fashion or tell you who the hottest designer is. i dress the way i want to and i mean, i think i look good, but the fashion majors at my college would probably tell me different. except this one, zack. he sits in front of me in a management class, and comes to each meeting looking fly — lip liner, mascara, sexy designer purse. he likes when i wear dark lipstick. he’ll announce his presence, saunter on over to his seat, and simutaneously sit down and bop me on the head, saying mm girl, you are lookin’ GOOD to-day!

i really respect him, not because he’s happy with his sexuality, but because he says whatever is on his mind and doesn’t worry about if it’s “inappropriate.” like this one day in october, we were having a cigarette on michigan avenue and one of the college janitors was sweeping up butts from the sidewalk. zack’s eyes get all buggy eyed. he takes a nervous drag from his marlboro and goes, ohmyGOD that boy is fine. what’s his name?  *janitor walks by and zack zooms in on his nametag* ALFONZO! get your sexy ass over here and talk to me.

i need to be more like that. we all do. i am already, in a sense. i’m far too disconnected to know what music is “in.” sometimes i find myself at hipster loft parties, hear a song i like, get the name, and buy the album later. but that’s just sometimes.

i’m really into gaygns lately. i texted my ex last night to tell him he should listen to them because i think he’d like them. any of you who enjoy gang vocals and experimental music would enjoy them, actually. anyway, he responded with a quick “k, i’ll check them out” response. no punctuation or anything, like he was too busy to even consider my kind gesture of suggesting music i thought he would receive ENJOYMENT from. well, excuse me from breathing, kind sir. that’s the last time i will try to do something nice for you.

there’s this other kind-of-ex i’ve been emailing. i say kind-of because we never officially “dated,” just were assumed together for a short while. he lives in new york now, but i recently emailed him two songs by an artist i thought he’d like. he responded with a quirky article from the onion that reminded him of me. see, that’s a good person.

i was on the phone with my friend luke last night. he works at a popular coffee shop in a suburb mall, and was telling about an old woman who works at one of the department store that he bums cigarettes off of. i’m like, noo, i’m quitting, luke says. but she’s always like, ‘well, you know what, i had two heart attacks and you don’t see me quitting, do you, kid?’ i laugh, and luke goes, ha, yeah, there’s not really many people like that, you know?

i guess there is no real conclusion to this, except to say that we all need to embrace our inner zack and email more articles written from the perspective of a hamster. watch more donnie darko. listen to the beatles more. apply for positions you don’t think you have a shot at getting. drink more coffee. have another cigarette. take classes in religion even if you don’t believe in anything because you’re afraid if you believe in one thing, you’ll believe in everything.

threethirtytwo / by: threethirtytwo

I’m currently drinking one of these for the first time- and it’s so incredibly delicious. I must find more.

It also doesn’t hurt that each bottle is super cute, has 175 mg of caffeine (over a can of Redbull times two), 10 grams of protein and no fat. 

So, no more lazy Saturday now that I have some caffeine! Going to dinner with the neighbourhood family in a bit for a light meal for me and then coming home for what I’m expecting to be a painful second run since November.

I’ve already realised I really should start drinking quite a bit more water and, as I’m having to run after the day is done tonight, I need to set aside time specifically for running- I just need this semester to be over with already.
I only got through a little over a mile yesterday without my entire body wanting to shut down, but I did manage to walk another half mile and bike two more afterwards. Right now I just want to get out and do it- distance and speed can take the focus a little later. 

Yes, my mug is just a little bit more awesome than yours. Just saying.
And yes, I do pick my nail polish off when I’m bored in class. Thanks for asking.